I decided to read "EOICF" because Marl Barl (or "birthday") said that it was good.

After completing EOICF this morning, I have decided to disagree respectfully. Nonetheless, I enjoyed reading it and would classify it as a page-turner. The plot is solidly engaging; even if the "twists" (as they were intended) were as convenient, contrived, predictable, and thus mundane as the events that take place in hallmark movies, I was kept on the edge of my seat by the possibility of what disasters might await poor Elanor. In my opinion, if this book did not feature a cynical, suicidal, heroine who prefers to articulate herself in the same parlance her mother used, and which she likly honed with her interest in classic literature, it would be just like any other best-seller catered to an audience of bored middle-aged moms seeking escapism. In contrast to the aforementioned genre, EOICF stands out from the crowd, but its plot is not resolved with much grace. I can't help but notice the precise fashion in which it follows the hero's journey, which leaves the period after the "revelation" (which had been building since the first page when she began to stalk a man she saw once, and then abruptly deciding she didn't like him anymore for basically no reason at all after months of devotion) extremely bland. The tantalizing mystery that had been dangling before our noses fnbows. No more autism; no more drinking. She even straight up tells us in one line the one interesting twist (the only one I hadn't assumed in the story) of the story without any buildup, as if the author had made it up in tor 200+ pages is slowly revealed in THERAPY OF ALL THINGS!!!! FUC KOFF!!!! It doesn't end with the always-caring love interest (which is also not resolved in the least, btw) succoring Elanor until she reveals her brooding past, nor does it end with him questioning her sanity about the whole mommy thing after reading the articles that detail her death himself. Nope, NOTHING INTERESTING HAPPENS AT ALL!!! Elanor simply decides to go to therapy after the worst breakdown of her life and proceeds to outright expose the mystery subplot to the reader while the therapist prompts her with such enthralling lines as "lol, what's wrong with you?" and suddenly everything is sunshine and rainbows because the denounsment was dragged out of her by a character that she had just met. It felt like the entire "resolution" of the book was written in the last week before the deadline, and the editor was too rushed to make it any good. And the fat, retarded cat added nothing to the story. I'm never reading something written after 1940 again. Take your pills, Elenor!

 

The most interesting aspect of this story is the mystery of Elanor's mom. Even so, the meager amount of plot fodder we are subjected to in order to contextualize the reason for Elanor and her mother's existence is sort of stupid upon a second of further meditation upon the foundational lore of EOICF. Either the product of indolence or ignorance, I was left with many questions.

Since Elanor's mother was clearly raised upper-class, given that she had obtained such refined tastes and such a refined vocabulary by the age of 19, it perplexes me as to why she would not abort the pregnancy that was foist upon her. I have a head cannon for her past as the child of two neglectful, rich parents, drawn together as accomlices in the pursuit of excess and splendor, who rose to the top ranks of society only through the emulation of sofistication. I would assume in this circumstance that "mummy" might have given birth to Elanor to spite these parents, given that she is likely a raging narcissist with raging vendettas against every human being in her life. Even give this elaborate headcanon I have created to contextualize why Elanor's mother might have given birth to one child, why would she then, after 8 or so years of neglecting elanor, have another child? And even after wasting her youth, time, and resources on children she clearly didn't love, why would she kill them in such a retarded way? I dont understand why you would stay in a house that was burning to the ground unless you wanted to kill yourself with your children, even then, there are much less attention-seeking and more fatal ways of doing so. Given that she administered sleeping pills to the children, why didn't she administer them to herself if it was a suicide? Or, better yet, why not just kill the children by having them overdose on the sleeping pills? The whole plan is completely stupid.

Here are some nice words from the book:

expeditious accede deleterious garish doddery surreptitious décolletage apropos repast ministration deft sagacious dissolute leer micturate permutation profligate desultory surfeit incumbent badinage vertiginous primeval caterwauling elocution tidily frisson prurient marooned indolence inscrutable simian sonorous niggling forfend aerie bibelot invalid replete aplomb bacchanalia sartorial equmenical trite reconnaissance spendthrift rebarbative biro divest hoi polloi yokel gawp christen sybaritic cathode prosaic iconoclast ensconced gossamer argot purloin pilfer curtail countenance unguents repose putative ruminant protracted simper effrontery libation recondite assiduous divest febrile discotheque bower extant forthcoming charnel acquiesce oblique connotes assuage aberrant recompense loutish stygian decant dipsomania friable balderdash prurience